March 17th already!

St. Patrick's Day today and a chance to have a 'wee' breather. Had planned a lie-in but seem to have got so used to getting up before seven that my body decided that sleeping until 8 o'clock was plenty.

The past ten days or so have been really eventful. For once, I've been doing lots of things that don't involve study. So much for planning to get stuck into studying at the beginning of the month.

Last weekend was 'Itzacon' - the annual convention for the NUIG Fantasy and Sci-fi society (Fansci). It has to go down as the best weekend I've spent on campus so far. I helped out as staff for the event, particularly on Sunday when the fairytale theme meant I transformed into the village witch for the whole day. Some might say I didn't need to change much but I did get to wear my beautiful hooded cloak and cackle a lot.

As soon as convention was over at 6pm, it was time to get cracking on the project for the week. I was persuaded to throw my hat in the ring for the part-time Students' Union elections as Mature Student Officer. It was tempting to add a crossed out 'IM' in front of the title on my posters but I managed to resist that one! Polling was on Thursday so that meant spending all week plastering every noticeboard with campaign literature; handing out flyers here, there and everywhere and going into large lecture halls to do what are called "shout outs". Thankfully I had the help of some wonderful people and yesterday, all our hard work paid off when I won a large majority of the vote. I am so grateful for all the support and kindness shown to me this week - college life is rewarding in so many different ways. I was actually moved to tears on polling day when one dear, darling girl persuaded me to take a break and forced a chocolate eclair on me to get my sugar levels up!

Somehow or other I actually managed to stay on top of my reading and only missed two lectures all week! Have to get organised today and sort out the house, laundry and emails before heading out for some St Patrick's Day fun and games. Guess I need 24 hours of 'something completely different' because procrastination time is definitely over now. Have to get assignments done and then prepare for the exams in May.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

So many books...so little time.

Saturday is here again and, after what felt like a fortnight's work rolled into one week, had planned something completely different for today. We had a few days of beautiful, dry spring weather so getting outdoors after being cooped up studying was in order. So much for plans. Instead of cutting the grass and pottering in the garden, back comes the rain! It was too much to hope that winter was gone. We have hail and sleet forecast for the next few days.

Oh well, indoor pottering will have to be the order of the day. Have the house to myself for a few hours so can catch up on cleaning and listen to some music. Once the place is looking nice and tidy, it may tempt me to curl up on the couch and get some reading done. I've been too exhausted lately to do anything in the way of work after getting home in the evenings and, although I never seem to stop working, a small backlog is building up again. So many books...so little time.

With less than a month to go before lectures finish, the exams will be on top of me in no time. The garden will have to wait. There's a little matter of a high bar to be cleared again. It's head down and work constantly from now on...after the rugby tomorrow of course!

Not again!

Oh no! Have an essay due tomorrow and I've only managed to write a fraction of the 1,500 words expected. After carefully completing the necessary reading, once again I find that it's all sloshing around in my brain but won't organise itself properly in order that it can flow out through my fingers onto the page.

If I were at home this morning, I'd probably find myself doing housework or laundry as a distraction tactic. However, having to attend lectures means that I'm stuck at a desk in the Library, completely unable to switch off the 'little grey cells' so they are whizzing around like moths at a candle instead of behaving themselves.

It's not that I don't know what to write, or that I don't want to write - I'm writing quite happily here and submitted a few hundred words for Creative Writing a short while ago; it just seems to be a surfeit of disorganised thoughts. I've even been working on a Prepositional Calculus puzzle for Logic in an attempt to switch to the analytical track and leave the creative process to itself!

Do I go home and see if location is the problem? Do I take a walk into town? Do I miss the 3pm lecture in Critical Theory so I can stop worrying about breaking off from work to attend class? I'm certainly not going to get much done as things stand.

Will walk away from the laptop and see what comes to me.....

P V Q

I'm in a quandary. Nothing to do with college but, depending on how I deal with the situation, it will have implications on all aspects of life, including academic plans. Something of an ethical nature has been brought to my attention which, as a philosophy student, I am trying to address logically. However, all the propositional calculus in the world doesn't change the fact that a difficult decision will have to be made once I have all the premises laid out properly. There are times when being so analytical is problematic but now I do have the tools with which to work things out.

As you can gather, the Logic course is going well and, while I'm struggling a bit with the new calculus, the practical applications are being integrated into my way of thinking. The Critical Theory essay due on Wednesday is bound to include valid arguments!

The academic week was a very busy one all round. I eventually finished my first mid-term essay and got it submitted with 40 minutes to spare. Reading-wise I'm almost up-to-date and I'm nearly ready to start writing the next assignment. Throw in the voluntary work and a nice bit of typing 'as Gaeilge' for somebody and it's understandable that I tended to collapse into bed early every night. Tuesday, I fell asleep on the couch straight after dinner and on Wednesday I couldn't even string a coherent sentence together by the time I got home!

A complete change of pace is in order this weekend. I'm home in Mayo with all the family and we shall do 'normal' things together. For once, the weather is fine and a long walk on a beach or two is definitely on the agenda. Some reading will have to be done but I think it's time to switch off and let the batteries recharge.

Growing and changing

A sunny Saturday is trying to lure me from my desk and I'm sitting here fighting with myself over what to do. Of course there's an essay deadline on Monday, but there is also the dog (and yours truly) in need of some fresh air and exercise. As I write, the thought of strolling across the park and a game of 'fetch' on the way to get something nice for brunch seems to be the best compromise. I will walk off the calories that will be eaten later; my bitch won't spend the day giving me soulful looks; and a clear head will write better (I hope).

Now that's decided, it's just a matter of getting one more cup of coffee on the inside and suitable clothing on the outside and we'll be off. While I'm sipping, can get some more of this blog written.

Earlier today, it dawned on me that being in college has changed me enormously. No way am I the same person I was two years ago - sometimes I'm not sure of who I am at all. Of course there are bits of me I recognise, but the way this student is evolving keeps on surprising me! Apart from increased confidence, I'm far more organised that I ever thought possible, something which even my lecturers have commented on. Interpersonal skills - never a strong point - seem to have come out of nowhere and I like to think that I'm a more approachable and likeable person than before.

After I'd got over my divorce, my sister told me that I had become the person I should have been if I hadn't married. Maybe the 'new' me is the adult that would have grown up in that parallel universe?

I always swore that I'd be like Peter Pan and never grow up. I doubt I'll ever lose the inner child but as I get to know this 'mature' student, it's not so bad becoming an adult after all!

Love is...

Seeing as how it is almost St. Valentine's Day, it's a good time to share something which came up over, what I call, the mature students' breakfast table. A few of us who get in early congregate at one particular table in the canteen and have interesting and sometimes bizarre conversations.

The other day I mentioned how much I love university and was told by one classmate that 'love' and 'university' were not words which he would combine in a sentence. This, to me, was very surprising because, as regular followers of this blog will know, I'm loving my college experience.

Yes, I know there are times when I'm tearing my hair out under pressure to produce thousands of words in a short space of time, or when I get upset because things seem particularly difficult, but that is the nature of any relationship. My children drive me nuts at times, having a long-distance relationship is frustrating, but that doesn't mean I love my nearest and dearest any less; the same goes for NUIG. Of course it's not all plain sailing; of course it takes hard work; of course there are times when I want to metaphorically 'break it off', but in the overall scheme of things, being a student in my chosen university makes me far happier than any other career I've ever had. To me, that is love.

Compared to some of the personal relationships I've had in the past, this love-affair with college is truly romantic. For most of my life I have dreamed of being an undergrad in the same way young girls dream of meeting their 'Mr Right'. What a potential disappointment was in store for me when I finally made it 'up the aisle', or to be more accurate, received my place in NUIG! It could have gone horribly wrong if my new situation turned out to be nothing like I'd dreamed. Luckily for me, college is living up to my expectations and a long-term 'marriage' to academia is in progress.

The first few weeks were a bewildering, honeymoon period with emotions all over the place, however, with effort and hard work, the relationship developed its own routine and I was able to settle in comfortably. Now I can't imagine leaving this amazing world where I can live happily and securely, doing and sharing all the things I love best and also having friends to moan with when it's needed. If only relationships with the opposite sex could be this easy! During the holidays, I miss being on campus yet don't fall to pieces because of dependency issues. The beginning of term is like meeting a loved one at an airport - all excitement and joy at being reunited without thinking about the adjustments and effort that will be needed later.

In some ways, this affair with college closely mirrors the one that I have with my 'significant other' - a mature, happy relationship which blossoms because the lessons of the past have been learned and, by applying them to the present, joy and contentment flow from purely living in the 'now'. Being middle-aged makes one more tolerant and less judgemental in almost every aspect of life and so problems can be solved or difficulties accepted without too many tears or tantrums. Love may have come late for me (in more ways than one) but at this moment I can honestly say that it's what I feel.

Being loved, there are times when one's partner delights you with extravagant expressions of their feelings. This happened last weekend, when NUIG celebrated its hard-working scholars at a special ceremony. Yours truly was one of the many mature students in receipt of a lovely certificate and a cheque on the day. As I queued to ascend the steps to receive my award, I was shaking with nerves, thinking that my name was included on the programme by mistake and that there wouldn't be anything for the President to give me! Maybe a little more faith in myself is required - in college and in relationships because, not only did my beloved NUIG give me a 'Valentine's' gift, but my guy surprised me by travelling to Ireland to be with me at the event. He is staying until the 14th, so this weekend is going to be for concentrating on my human love...

Happy Valentine's Day

Can anyone teach me to pole vault?

The end of another week and now I've got all but one of my results from last semester. Surprised and delighted with them but also a little worried. Managed to improve on last year but am thinking that I've gone and set the bar a little too high now. Having broken the mystical '70' in English, do I have it in me to keep up the pace? There's only one way to find out - just do it.

Being a cold, wet and miserable Saturday, nothing will tempt me out of the house (not even football) and, once I've finished procrastinating, will settle down to read. Waiting for me are Aristotle, Hume and Descartes for Philosophy modules, and Marie de France, Hazlitt, Wilde and Arnold for English, as well as three Medieval mystery plays. Secondary reading will have to wait until during the week, methinks!

Of course the housework will have to get done first so my that study area is clean and tidy; the grate needs cleaning out so I can light the fire and be warm while sitting reading and preparing meals to fuel the 'little grey cells' is essential. Is that procrastination? I can take it further by deciding that the fridge HAS to be cleaned out today or it really is time to clear out my inbox...

NO! NO! NO! It will take only a few minutes to bring the fire from last night back to life, make a snack and a coffee and clear enough space on the table for the books. If I want to get over my self-raised bar, there's only one way - keep on working. That is, unless there's someone out there who can teach me to pole-vault?