I'm sorry for being so neglectful of this blog. There are lots of reasons why I've done no personal writing for weeks but no good excuses (if you know what I mean). At first it was a matter of trying to get five essays written and studying for the one and only end of term exam on History of Philosophy. Despite all the study I'd done during the semester, when it actually came to the point of doing the essays, it was like my mind went into total 'freeze' mode, just like a computer - all the data was inside, correctly filed, but the operating system went on the blink. Despite knowing what had to be done and being aware of time slipping away, I seemed to be as calm as a millpond; no feelings of anxiety that the essays wouldn't be completed on time (or that they'd even be sub-standard). It was a very strange place to be in.
Now I'm not going to bore you with details of my mental health; suffice to say that the little grey cells were too busy worrying about a load of things that had nothing to do with college and the part of me that has to be kept under control with a little white pill and lots of determination every day had somehow managed to shut the rest of me out. Eventually I roped in some outside help and made the most of the NUIG Health Promotion unit and the de-stress programme. Would recommended it for everyone as, after the first treatment and a good chat (and a cry), I got a few hundred words written that afternoon!
Once the floodgates had been opened, on all fronts, the end of term flew by and before I knew it Christmas was here. Had a lovely time at home with all the lads for two weeks and completely chilled out. Did a little study but mostly let my mind do its own thing while I got on with the serious business of making and eating lots of delicious food for us all and being 'Mum'.
Now it's a week into the new term and a whole new set of modules and timetable to come to grips with. Have two compulsory courses in Philosophy this semester so have chosen the History of Ethics to go with Language & Logic and Modern Philosophy. In English I've picked Literary Theory and Criticism and, for fun, Medieval Drama with Frances McCormack. Just waiting with fingers crossed to hear which Seminar they give me this time round. If I don't get one of my top 3 choices I'll go nuts!
What else is new? Well, I walked in every day bar Friday (twice on Wednesday), only to develop sciatica in my left leg... so much for trying to get fit. The Philosophy Society has got off to a great new year and I'm looking forward to our showing of The Meaning of Life this week :-) Tomorrow I start a new volunteering venture - tutoring people in basic computer skills.
Yep! I'm back in the land of the living.